The Epic Chronicle of Two Girls, Five Buses, and the Quest for Togas.

Once upon a time, my roommate Val and I went into Westwood to buy sheets to make togas. Westwood's shopping is very limited however, and there did not seem to be an establishment that offered linens. I experience much frustration over the absence of a store such as Target that sells many basic necessities. As we were very determined to procure sheets, Val and I decided to embark on a journey to find a Target. Our means of transportation are even more limited than Westwood's shopping, so we had no choice but to take the bus. We called the Big Blue Bus company to inquire as to what buses we should take in order to reach Target. The woman on the phone was incredibly rude and impatient and told us there was no Blue Bus that went to Target. She then referred us to the Metro system. The Metro representative was quite rude as well, but she did give us instructions on how to make our trek to Target. After deciphering a series of bus line numbers and street names, we charted our route and headed to the nearest bus stop. Only after waiting there for foolishly for about 10 minutes did we realize that our bus would not be coming to this stop. We moved on to the correct stop, and after waiting nearly half an hour, we finally boarded the bus and began the first leg of our voyage, which cost a frustrating fee of $1.25. We inquired with the bus driver as to how much a transfer cost, as we would have to take a second bus. She informed us with an irritated and condescending tone that it would cost another $1.25. Fantastic. Finally, we reached the point where we would have to transfer buses. However, the bus system was created for people with far more geographical and urban awareness than either Val or myself possessed, and it took us a great deal of time to figure out where to get on our next bus. Alas, we found the stop. However, we made this discovery at about the same time as the bus arrived, so we had to race frantically down the street to catch it. Luckily, this bus driver was considerably more sympathetic toward us than the last, and he kindly waited for us as we got onto this second bus, flustered and out of breath. This next leg of the journey took an absurd amount of time. We traveled for nearly an hour until we reached the Promised Land. I had never before been so elated to cross the threshold of a Target. We procured our long sought after sheets, as well as a few various sundry items, and realized that we were absolutely famished. The nearest sustenance was McDonald's. It is typically against either of our principles to patronize such a questionable establishment, but desperate times call for desperate measures. We ordered our food and sat down to enjoy it, and thanks to Omnivore's Dilemma, all I could think about was how much corn went into my french fries and milkshake. Nonetheless, it was a delicious feast. When we concluded our meal, we went back to the bus stop to begin our return trip home. There we sat for an immeasurably long amount of time, on that cold, windy evening in an unfamiliar part of town, vulnerable and exposed to debris blowing at as, as well and the stares and whistles of strangers as they drove by. Finally, a beacon of hope appeared in the distance in the form a red Metro bus. Much to our dismay, it was not our line, and the driver apparently had no intention of stopping there to pick up two young, cold, tired travelers. We waited still longer, and eventually our bus arrived and we were offered a respite from the wind and creepers. The trip from Westwood to Target took about an hour and a half. We decided that there must be a more direct route back to campus, and that the oh-so-accommodating woman we spoke to on the phone did not give us the best travel itinerary. We chose to get off at a different stop, and found that we could indeed ride a Blue Bus instead of the Metro, which is very fortunate because the fare is much less, at 25 cents. So again we waited at another bus stop. At this point, it was darker and even colder, and we were losing our senses of humor. Wearily, we boarded the Blue Bus when it came. This was not, however, the last leg of our journey. We would have to take yet another Blue Bus to get the rest of the way into Westwood. At last, five bus rides and seven hours later, we were home. Almost. There was still a short walk back to the dorms, as the buses do not always go all the way to the Ackerman terminal. This fickle schedule I will never understand. On our walk, we encountered a man stumbling out of Burger King in a highly inebriated state. The light to cross the street was red at the time, so we were forced to stand there with the man, who approached us by saying, "Hey, you're pretty. Wanna go on a date?" He then offered to take me to a car dealership to buy a Lamborghini. My weakness for fancy cars and my irritation with Los Angeles's less than expedient and friendly public transportation system could almost have led me to accept his offer. I did not go all the way to Target for nothing though. I had a toga party to attend that very eve! So in the interest of preserving my life and attending the gala toga-clad, Val and I rushed back to our dorm to craft our Greek costumes, which we worked so very hard to obtain. The rest of the night is irrelevant to this story, however, so at this point I will have to wrap up my saga with this conclusion: public transportation, at least in the Los Angeles area, is not widely used as of yet for good reason. It is a gross time inefficiency, it is not incredibly cheap (many other students have access to buses free of charge), and the majority of the people employed by the bus companies are not of a pleasant disposition. Never mind the strange characters that typically ride the bus. I enjoy people watching and can be thoroughly entertained by observing my fellow travelers. But I simply cannot afford the time and patience it takes to make bus expeditions outside of Westwood. Because of this, and my determination never to be stranded and sheetless again, I will most likely take my car to school with me at some point next year. Sorry Earth. Global Warming: 1, Sustainability: 0.